A Letter for Lulu

My Lulu,

Olivia Grace. I am not going to lie, after having your brother, I wanted a boy. I only knew how to be a boy mom. I was prepared for a boy. "It's a GIRL" What? A girl? What will I do with a girl? Will Tyler love her? I was scared and excited all at once.

January 24th, 10:20 pm and I saw your face. It was different than what I felt the first time around. When I had your brother, I got hit with a wave. I loved him as much as I could love him from the moment I met him. With you, I wanted to protect you. You were tiny and fragile. All your newborn clothes were huge. Every day I loved you more and more. It felt as if you were always here. You just fit right in. You were the piece that we had no idea was missing.

You were born with personality. Happy is an understatement. You smile at everyone, giggle at every move your brother makes, and show your sassy side when something doesn't go your way. You, my little girl, are my rainbow baby.

I am not sure if I will have more babies so I want to hold onto you a little longer. I want to smell that yummy baby smell, I want to see that funny gummy smile, and I want to enjoy those sweaty baby naps as long as I can.

I see our future. Shopping trips. Prom. Boyfriends. I have a mini best friend. But for now, my little Lulu, I will hold you, I will kiss you, and I will wonder how we ever existed as a little family without you.

I love you now and always,

MAMA