Titties Titties Titties

Ok,  now that I have your attention,  this post is about breastfeeding. 

Let me start by saying this: 

If you breastfed,  you're a rockstar.

If you formula fed,  you're a rockstar. 

This post is not about mom shaming or promoting breastfeeding. This is about my journey.  

As soon as I got pregnant,  I knew I wanted to breastfeed.  I set a goal for myself of exclusively nursing for 6 months.  Easy right? I was wrong.  

When Tyler was born, he had a "great latch" (my words). I refused to see the lactation consultant at the hospital because I felt so confident in our bond and the beginning of our feeding journey.  He was born Thursday night and by Saturday they had sent me home.  By Sunday,  I was in pain. I was bleeding every time he ate. I cried because I felt so lost. No matter how much research I did,  how many pictures of breastfeeding I examined on Google,  I couldn't figure it out. My nights were never ending.  I decided to pump (a pump was invented by a man that hated boobs). After a couple of days I was desperate and called a lactation consultant.  

PSA: Use the lactation consultant from the hospital! Otherwise they will cost you your next born child! Don't be too cocky like I was! Ask questions!

Thankfully,  after a 2 hour consultation,  I figured out how to properly hold Tyler and feed him without crying. 6 months seemed so far away.

Fast forward to his 1st birthday. Breastfeeding became our little moment with each other. A way to escape the chaos and just be in our little bubble. No matter what craziness was happening, eventually,  he had to eat and we were able to escape. 

People's views completely changed after he turned 1. "You are still breastfeeding?" "He is too old." "That is so weird." "He has teeth." "He eats food." BLAH BLAH BLAH. 

Breastfeeding is so taboo here and yet the World Health Organization recommends 2 years of nursing. But, if you breastfed past the baby stage, you are a hippie weirdo. If you don't breastfeed, you're a bad mom. Who understands society?? 

Guess what? His 2nd birthday rolled around and he was still nursing! I know! I couldn't believe it either. He was 10000% attached to me. I didn't mind. 

When I got pregnant,  I knew it was time to wean him. That has probably been one of the hardest things I have done.  I tried all the "methods". He slowly nursed less and less. Suddenly he was done. 

I wish I would have known when was the last time he decided to breastfeed.  I would have enjoyed it a little more.  I would have stared at him a little longer.  I would have imprinted that moment in my mind.  But, it just happened.  Just like that,  it was over.  

Fast forward to Olivia.  She is now 10 months and we are still breastfeeding. It's not the same. While feeding,  I am usually chasing a toddler or putting a bottle in my other mini's mouth.  For that reason,  I cherish everything with her.  All the moments that her little eyes look into mine.  All the sleepless nights where she just wants 1 more minute with me.  

When they are older,  they won't remember but I will.  I will and I'll have those moments forever❤