To My Kids...I'm Sorry

I'm not really sure what I am apologizing for but I know I need to say I am sorry. 

I know that at some point in your life, I will mess you up. I am going to make a bad decision, steer you in the wrong direction,  or give you unwanted advice. In advance, I'm sorry. 

As I go about my day, I wonder what mistakes I am making. Everyone dreams of being the perfect mother. My babies, let me let you in on a little secret, I am not a perfect mom. I make so many mistakes and I only hope you can learn from them as much as I do. 

You are small now and you won't remember the mistakes I make. You won't remember me knocking your heads on the car door as I try to put you in the car seat, or me losing it because you emptied the bin of toys I just cleaned up. You won't remember that you had to wear a swim diaper because I didn't notice we were out of regular diapers and you peed right through your clothes in the middle of a store. You won't remember swallowing water when you accidentally slipped in the tub.

So many mistakes I make and I know you won't remember. But, eventually, you will. You will grow up and catch my failures.  You will point out my mistakes and when you have kids of your own, you will remember.  For all the things I get wrong, I am sorry. 

My only hope is, that along with remembering my faults,  you remember how much I love you. I hope you remember the Mickey pancakes I made that looked nothing like Mickey. I hope you remember the giggles on our trampoline. I hope you remember snuggling on my side of the bed. I hope you remember it all. 

I may be over protective. I may drive you insane. I may do things I never thought I would.  For that,  I am sorry and you're welcome.