You Make it Look Effortless

I recently received a message from a friend on Instagram.  The message read "Don't know how you do it all with the 3 kiddos. You make it seem effortless." All of a sudden, I felt like a fraud.

Effortless? My days are never effortless.  How could I be portraying this? Motherhood,  being a stay at home mom, being a working mom, being any kind of successful human being with or without kids is NEVER effortless.  

I realize that us moms are always comparing.  What's her baby doing? What activities did they do? Are we ahead? Are we behind? Should he be talking? Should she not watch tv? Maybe I should do more sensory play. Maybe I'm not doing all I could be.  

Now we have social media. If you didn't post it, did you even do it? I try my best to post the good, the bad, and the ugly BUT I realize I may not be doing the best job. I never want someone to look at my Instagram and think it's all so "effortless". 

I cry a lot. I laugh a lot. We struggle with finances sometimes because our income is so erratic.  There are good months. There are tough months. I have insomnia. I can spend entire nights awake. Sometimes it's the kids, sometimes it's just me. I stress about how my house looks. I constantly clean. Then I feel like a bad mom because I spent too much time cleaning and too little time playing.  I struggle with wanting to be 100% mom while also wanting to be something else. This is stuff we really don't "post".

I also feel extreme gratitude. I get to see so many milestones. I get to plan cute projects and have time to make ghost pancakes for Halloween.  I get to do things that I only dreamed about doing. 

Everything is a balance.  Everyone has good days and bad days but no ones days are effortless.  I will do better at being honest and raw. Having to put effort is a good thing. It means we are trying. It means we are learning.  It means we are getting better. 

Cheers to days with lots of effort. Cheers to trying so hard that some may think your days looked effortless.