A Letter to my Husband

Hey, it's me, your wife. The mother of your babies. The keeper of all things. The dinner maker, house cleaner,  butt wiper. It's me. 

I know that I am more than that but sometimes that's all I feel like. I know that since the kids came along I have changed. They consume me. They are my priority. You have dropped down on that list and I know that you feel it. I am less adventurous.  I plan things with kids in mind at all times. I never just sit to watch a movie with you because "I have too many things to do. " The morning coffee promised in my vows is left for you on the stove instead of delivered to you in bed.

You have changed too. You are more serious. You don't laugh as freely as you once did. You worry about bills and work. You are tired and you rather take a nap instead of take a walk. You travel more and forget what it's like to be home day to day.

We have been together 12 years. We have been married 7. We have been parents for 4. Throughout all these stages we have had to relearn how to be together. We have had to adjust our expectations and live in our reality. 

Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes we get stuck in the day to day. Sometimes we forget to stop and look at each other.  Then, the night ends and you kiss me goodnight.  You refill my water and make sure I have ice to keep it cold. Then, it all rushes back. You and me. Just the two of us. 

I ask you to remember the girl you fell in love with. The one who was so nervous and trying to act cool and said "shut up and kiss me." The girl that planned random weekend trips. The one you took a roadtrip with and ended up at a chocolate factory (eating way too much chocolate). I promise to remember the guy that drew all my school projects for me as an excuse to hang out.  The guy that hand wrote me letters because he didn't have enough money for a Valentine's gift. 

That was our foundation and it has made us strong enough to endure this season of our relationship.  A season of running, and worrying,  and planning for the un-plananble. There is no one I would rather be on this ride with. 

                          Love you bigger than the                                universe (and more than                                 that),

                               Your forever girlfriend