An Uneasy Feeling

I have had an uneasy feeling the past couple of days. Watching the news. Seeing what is going on in the world. It is terrifying. My mind wants to sit here an write but my heart doesn't really know what to say.

Life is hard when you have to worry about yourself. I didn't realize how hard it would be having to worry about someone else. Every night I stare at my "babies" as they sleep. I feel so much gratitude that my eyes get full of tears. I feel so much fear that my hearts pounds out of my chest. Today they are here, asleep with me. Tomorrow they will wake up and I will have to send them into the world. But this world? Why this one? A world that has forgotten to put God at the center. A world that jumps straight to pointing fingers and has forgotten how to be kind. A world that wants to force certain "norms" down our throats. A world where family comes last and selfishness comes first. This is not the world I want to trust my babies to.

I can't control the world but I realize my biggest job is at home. I will be sure to listen even to the silliest details they tell me. I will show them unconditional love so that they know how deep someone can love them. I will show them that their actions have consequences and, although I love them unconditionally, I will correct them when they are wrong. I will guide them along the way while allowing them to stumble because in stumbling there is growth.

Such innocence in their eyes. Their minds cant conceive that such darkness exists. Although I wish they could stay like that forever, I realize they need to know. They need to know that there are people in this world that find joy in the evil. They need to know that not everyone wants what is best for them. But they also need to know that they matter. They need to know that their light can drive out the darkness.

As parents, it is our job to make that light shine. Show kindness so they learn kindness. Practice understanding so one day they may understand. Teach them the hard lessons so they can hear it from us and not from someone that wants them to fail. We may want to control the world, the government, the schools, the media....WE CAN'T. Our job starts at home and its the biggest job we can have.

Will this uneasy feeling ever go away? Probably not. Love your kids. Hug your kids. Listen to them and enjoy them. There is really not much more my heart can say.